22. Multiple Lives Syndrome

Do you ever feel like one life is too little to live? Do you ever have the desire to live a completely different life than the one you have? Or to live multiple lives all at one time, branching out in an infinity of possibilities towards all the outer reaches of the universe? I feel it all the time.

Most of the time, I’m pretty darn content to live this life I have. I have so much to live for and I love it all. Between teaching ballet, dancing, and performing on one hand and all my academic experiences leading into legal experiences all subsidized by anything to work on conservation, I do live a wide and varied life and am very grateful for that. But nonetheless, there are certain times like tonight when all I want to do is run away from everything (or almost everything), move somewhere completely different, and do something with my life so completely different than what I am doing now.

Of course one of those lives would be dancing in a professional company. If you know me at all, you know I would absolutely love the chance to do so. But that’s a different life that is still close enough to my own reality that it doesn’t have quite the same amount of wanderlust yearning that other lives do.

For example, I would absolutely love the chance to go travel and be a National Geographic photographer or reporter, especially if the work was on wildlife. I would adore being able to view these amazing creatures in their natural habitats up close. Then again, I know people who do so for their careers face every kind of hardship, from braving sub-zero temperatures at the polar regions to facing down deadly predators. Still, they get to see things that hardly anyone else on this planet gets to see.

I believe we each start off with unlimited potential. That’s not to say that everyone is born with the same privileges or internal or external factors. But I think the more you grow, the more you cultivate yourself in one direction. Those other branches of interest don’t get quite the same amount of nourishment as the ones you focus on. So over time, those branches don’t give you quite as many opportunities as they might have done previously had you taken the time to nurture those branches as well. However, the branches that you have cultivated and cared for over time continue to branch out in possibilities within that specific field or area of interest or passion.

Now I think the trick is finding out how to cultivate as many of these branches as possible by entwining them with your other branches of passions. If you can successfully do so, you will grow all the stronger for it. You will have more options within those passions than you did before.

But still, wouldn’t it be nice to be able to have infinite possibilities at all times?

I suppose limitations are a large part of being human. If we didn’t have limitations and we could be infinite, what could we create and accomplish? What whole worlds would open up to us that we didn’t have access to before? I would love to explore some of those other worlds that currently are not being cultivated. I would love to live in some of those branches as well. I’ve never heard of a name for this, but I think it should be called Multiple Lives Syndrome.

The desire to live many lives is deep within us all, I think. All of us at one time or another feels trapped by the path we have laid out for ourselves. And that’s not to say that that path is insufficient or lacking in any way. No, hopefully that path is a wonderful path that you do really and truly care about following and going down. I feel that way about my own path. But still, wouldn’t it be nice to be able to live multiple lives at one time?